Tomorrow will finish what has been the most dreadful week I can remember in some time. I may lose my job next week. Or, if I don't, things will be so strained I won't want to be there anyway.
I am recieving Gohonzon this Sunday. I should feel differently than I do. Extracting myself from the soft, dark, safety of my bed gets harder everyday. I have contemplated suicide. I feel terribly trapped, unbelievably exhausted, beaten, broken. I have got to raise my life state.
11:52 p.m. - 2007-10-05
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