A new job could be on the horizon. Quite honestly it all scares me a bit. I need to move forward from this stagnant state of affairs, career-wise. But the idea scares me. I'm settled here, even if I'm definitely not comfortable. I'm terribly unfulfilled but feel safe. So is that reason enough to shy away from the new job, or all the more reason to snap it up?
On another note, I saw an old friend last night. We met at Starbucks to get reacquainted. Not sure this is someone I'll be spending much time with, he's changed. He has hardened over the years that we had lost touch. Becoming a drug dealer probably has something to do with that. I know, what am I doing keeping company with a drug dealer, right? He pulled into the drive at my house the other day as I was coming home from work and I didn't even recognize him. During a brief encounter with his wife a few years ago she spoke vaguely of him being "unwell" and I didn't feel it would be prudent to inquire further. I know now that he was using crack cocaine. When he told me who he was the other day in front of my house I was speechless, I didn't recognize him at all! He came inside very briefly as I had lots of stuff in my arms to put down. He gave a sketchy account of the missing years. I'm fairly certain he's purposely being misleading about his marriage. He's no longer married but he lives with his ex wife and children and has relations with her, but insists she understands where he's at in the relationship. Meaning he's free to see other people. Sorry, I'm not buying that at all. Don't tell me you put this woman through all sorts of mental anguish- affairs, a separation, divorce, and then you come back on YOUR terms? I'm not sure I can even be his friend, not when it still feels like he's sneaking around. He isn't fooling me and I'm sure he isn't fooling her either. It's disappointing because I really missed him and was so happy to see him again. Just not sure how involved I want to get with this guy now.
11:38 p.m. - 2004-01-14
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