On June 8 I saw the surgeon for a three week follow up. At that time x-rays were made and we looked at them together. He was impressed, said the healing was remarkable in such a short time. The cadaver bone is fusing with my own, and the pins and plate are still in place perfectly, no shifting. He was surprised I'd gone back to work the second week and had resumed my gym routine except for strength training of the upper body. So yeah, I got a good grade overall. He looked at the incision (I had begun rubbing the edges of the tape with vitamin E the week before so I could remove it myself) and he said it looked great too.
I feel like a big fake when people tell me how brave and resilient I've been. They didn't see me that first week, the week I cried from the pain and the worry that I'd made a terrible mistake. No one told me the numbness in my hand and fingers wouldn't go away immediately, so in addition to horrible pain I thought the surgery had failed. The sensation and strength is coming back a little at a time, and I can sleep in my bed instead of sitting up in a chair. I wish I'd known how difficult that first week was going to be. And what sort of things to expect. If I have a complaint at all, it's that I wasn't informed well enough what to expect afterwards.
While I'm not pleased to have non-organic "parts" in my body, I'm very glad they haven't been rejected. Just call me Pollyanna, I do try to find something good when I can. I worry how it may interfere with my reiki, or if it will at all. My reiki teacher is out of town until June 26 so I won't be able to ask her about it until then.
The weather made for a tricky ride to work this morning. Wind driven sheets of rain drenched the city until around noon, making me long for the warmth and comfort of my bed. How I would have loved to stay home and watch the tropical storm pass over. Storms are something spiritual for me. Most often they are come and gone so quickly it just doesn't make good sense not to drop what you're doing and go watch, feel, taste. I dunno, maybe it's just me having grown up in the desert. Just seems it's an event worthy of being present for.
Have I neglected to rattle on about anything important? Who knows. I covered all the things important to me; recovery, pesky worries, and storms. Yup, I'm done.
5:03 p.m. - 2006-06-14
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