I don't know if I remember how to even do this anymore. The year is almost finished and I've posted what...once, all year? A lot has happened obviously. Some good, some not so good. It would be stupid (not to mention boring) to list everything that I can actually remember. So, I'll try to fill in a few blanks maybe.
Work continues to be a challenge at times. Not necessarily the tasks themselves, but a certain co-worker and the chef. Certain co-worker is the bane of everyone's existence there in the kitchen, so I don't feel special in my dislike of him. And chef, well chef still coddles and enables him so he'll continue abusing the rest of the kitchen unhindered by fear of punishment. It's really quite petty and boring to me now. My Buddhist practice is supporting me so that for the most part I can deal with this calmly and with grace, where before I couldn't.
On the home front my husband actually voiced the suggestion that "maybe we should separate." Unfortunately this was two days before I was to have hand surgery, and besides the incredible lack of sensitivity and timing this demonstrated on his part, that was always supposed to have been my damned line to speak. How dare he, right? Anyway, that was fun. I momentarily flipped out, cried like mad, moved out of the bedroom to the sofa, existed within the house as some kind of demented, one-handed live in maid. I won't torture you with the details, know that he now sees the same therapist I see and has admitted to an internet addiction and possibly being in the throws of some mid-life crisis. Sheesh, my life is so fucking stupid at times.
The hand surgery, it went well. I have full use of my right hand now where before I did not. Some time next year I will have the same surgery on the left hand. And I suspect my right knee is pretty well gone now too, but one thing at a time.
Weight loss, I'm still a gigantic, hideous beast. I no longer have the mental or physical stamina to endure a zero carb, zero sugar, 700 calorie a day diet. So like a damned moron I ordered this diet from an infomercial I saw while under the influence of hard drugs immediately following surgery. Brilliant. And guess what? It doesn't work. I know, how could this possibly be, right? Anyway, whatever.
The Buddhist practice, it's probably the only thing I have done right this year, and even then I didn't practice as strictly as I should have. Be that as it may, I was given a leadership appointment just today. I'm hopeful this will be a good thing, not just another responsibility I won't carry properly. Chanting daily is the key, I know, but have mercy on me please oh universe, for I am but a simple woman of limited intelligence and means! Yeah, I'm gonna blow it. But I'm going to try my hardest not to.
The daughter, she's great, doing very well in college, gainfully employed as a photographer. She even went to Japan in July to visit her Navy boyfriend for three weeks. Had a blast, took lots of pictures, met other SGI members there in Okinawa. She's just a wonderful girl, very proud of her.
What else...? Hmm. Oh, yeah, October was just a lovely month. I begrudgingly returned to work after a glorious 6 weeks off for surgery, was bitten in the face by a dog, gouged myself in the face a few days later in my sleep, and was diagnosed with shingles three days ago. The doctor said it was brought on by the stress of surgery and dearest husband's mid-life crisis. Everyone says it's nothing to be ashamed of but...shingles...just the name sounds nasty. And the prescription, well I had to take it to a pharmacy that doesn't know me because it's Valtrex, the stuff people take for herpes! Great. My life is a farce. At least I'm not suffering with it the way some people do. I've heard it can be awful. I went to the doctor thinking I had been bitten by a spider because I had this small cluster of red spots on the back of my shoulder. The doctor listened to my description of how it tingled and how this tingling was spreading and looked at it and said no, it's not a spider bite at all, it's shingles. The prescription makes me feel a little sick but not terrible. The small patch of spots never got any worse and the tingling sensation that was spreading is gone now. So all in all I'd say I got off lucky. So far. There's always tomorrow for everything to go to hell in a hand basket, right?
And seeing that tomorrow is only one hour away, I'm finished here for now. I hope everyone is well and looking forward to the beauty of the coming season. Fall and winter are my favorite! Glad to be back.
11:21 p.m. - 2008-11-02
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